England Soccer Tour: Part I (2nd Edition)

15 boys.

2 chaperones.

1 tour director.

3 fixtures.

2 league games.

6 days.

oh, and a few riots.

Editors Note: I will use as much British terminology as I want.  Also - I understand some of these stories you might not find funny .. most you had to be there, or you had to know the people involved...but I will still share a few anyway. Most of the kids came in with nicknames already - and the rest received nicknames as the week went on, so I will use those mostly throughout the post as well .. to protect anonymity. or whatever.

Friday August 5: What time is it?! What's happening!?

We arrived at the Charlotte-Douglas Airport and already I could tell it was going to be a very entertaining and interesting trip. The boys seemed to be obsessed with British accents and words; however, they weren't making full sentences. They were just picking random words and saying them.

 "Harry Potter. 'Allo. Rubbish. Football. Aluminum. Ron Weasley. Jolly good. Car Park."

   sweet lord.

We had a 45 min flight to Atlanta ... and Delta has the tvs that are in the headrest in front of you -- and InFlight trivia -- so we played the whole way down ... I didn't do too well ... but I did come in above the kid that has dyslexia ... so at least I have that going for me.

The same kid -- is one of those with a quick, smart sense of humor. He loves some puns -- and waits for it to click in your head before falling it up with "you see what I did there" -- we started with the Kindle and the fact that there were 3 Kendalls on the team:

PK: So put away your Kindles, but where do you want me to go ? ...
Me: P, what are you even talking abo--- ohhhh. youre stupid
PK: you see what I did there?

It went on to include jokes, knock-knock jokes and riddles - that were so stupid. But hey, entertaining. This event also continued ALL week on busrides, etc.

We boarded the next flight for England -- of course being in Atlanta we didn't take off until an hour and a half after our scheduled departure. One kid turns around in his seat and asks if I want a Wheat Thin.

Flash: you want a wheat thin?

K: oh, why yes! thanks!

Flash: would you also like some cheese?

K: Cheese? you have cheese too?

he produces another ziploc baggie with cut up cheese in it

Flash:  yeah, my mom packed it for me

                                        So - Cheese and crackers as a pre-flight snack? done.

An 8 hour flight ... one movie (Water for Elephants, heyyyyy Rob Pattinson) and barely any sleep later. We landed at London Heathrow.

                                 and still: "'Allo Govna. Football. Cross the pond! Aluminum"

Sat. August 6: "URRRRRRRRZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!" - Reading Chant

We landed around noon and immediately it was a whirlwind - customs, baggage claim, transfer to Leighton Park to drop off our bags and brush my hair - and then right off the the Reading FC v. Millwall game. I wasn't sure even what time it was and I needed some food ... but we arrived at Madjeski Stadium and had great seats!

We watched them warm up -- a few rows up on the endline and one of their big players, Noel Hunt, accidently hit a fan in the head with a shot that went awry.

So after warm ups he comes into the stands, runs right by me - takes off his jersey - and handed it to the fan.

Let me repeat - he took off his jersey right next to me.

 best.game.ever.

 

 With the Reading Royal mascot --- Kingsley!

English people take their football seriously. VERY seriously. In most stadiums there is a divide in the stadium seats to separate the fans ... Millwall fans are notorious for being a rough gang of hooligans ... and even though they were up 2-0 ... their fans were starting to taunt and trash talk that it required some to be removed from the stadium and security to step it up a notch.

Reading was down 2-0 with five minutes left and substitute Manset becomes the hero, scoring both goals for the Royals ... which made it an exciting game for the boys.

Afterwards ... again ... one of the players, Shane Long, walked towards our end of the field and took off his jersey. It was his last game with the Reading club as he has been called up to the West Bromwich club ... so good for him!

The boys were waiting for me to box out the small child to my right and grab the jersey from her ... however; while it crossed my mind.. I was clearly too busy staring at Shane and thinking -- I could get used to football over here.

Bed time came early for us all as we were all exhausted from the trip -- I was out by about 8.30 and when I woke up my phone said it was 10.30

crap.

I overslept and missed breakfast.

crap! and its only day one?! I'm in so much trouble.

CRAP.

wait. why is it still dark in my room?

what's going on?

Oh, I've only been asleep for 2 hours, its 10.30 pm!
 nice. ok, back to bed.

This trip was much different from my one in June - for starters, we stayed at Leighton Park which is a boarding school about an hour outside of London in a town called Reading.

It is NOT the Royal Horsegaurds Hotel -- I have no Wi-Fi, no American outlet, no TV, no heated bathroom floors -- I was lucky that I even had hot water in the bathroom that I was using, which was upstairs. It was like freshman year of college in the dorms.  But it was perfect for what we needed all week - just a place to sleep in between games and events. It also smelled like fresh paint. One of the reasons I think I was slap happy and entertained so much ... I was probably high.

The dorm room in Leighton Park

 

and the hotel room at the Royal Horseguards

We had a common room - think Harry Potter Gryffendor common room -- but without a grand fireplace and add in a big TV ... where we watched British gameshows and television until it was bedtime for us all each night.

Sunday August 7th: "What city is this? Comeback City"

One of the Reading coaches came to us on Sunday morning to lead the boys in their first training session across the pond. Coach was happy because he had no sort of practice plan in mind at all and he knew he could just sit and watch ... I was happy because it meant that I was able to listen to a British accent for the next 2 hours. I had to steal a sweatshirt to use as a blanket because when the sun went behind the clouds it was quite chilly. Who woulda thought in August?!

One of the drills he wanted the boys to do was to dribble around - place their foot on the ball - shout "Foot On" to another teammate and switch possession. The minute he said "you need to say 'foot on' " ... I thought to myself -

oh lord! All these idiots are going to start yelling it in a British accent ...

and they did.

Coach stopped them and asked if that's really what he sounded like? and then attempted a Southern accent. hilarious.

We ate lunch in the school cafeteria each day -- not too bad ... although some of the English food is suspect to me anyway ... and add in it being cafeteria style?! I utilized the salad bar a lot, which isn't necissarily a bad thing. Leighton Park is a very artsy school and had artwork from students hung all throughout its facilities ... they had this one -- dont sit there and tell me it doesnt look like a certain vampire character.

We walked into the town of Reading to find a place to watch the Community Shield - Manchester United v. Manchester City and found The Sportsman and watched the Red Devils come from behind 2 goals to win in extra time 3-2. Glory, Glory Man United.

We played our first game that afternoon against the Woodley Wanderers -- and tied 0-0  ... with the first game in the books -- the boys were demanding Fish and Chips ... I think if Coach and I didn't agree to walk into town and get some -- they were going to eat our heads. So naturally, we gave in ...

The teams lined up with the England and American Flags

Kicking off our first game across the pond!

and then PK ran the field like this:

and then of course --- our fish and chips.

Monday August 8th: Good Job, Dillon.

The boys have been working on their accents ... and asked Gary,our tour director, to do an American accent. What we got was a terrible, terrible southern "Good Job Dillon" ... no one on our team is named Dillon.  Anyway - for the rest of the week -- good job Dillon -- was incorporated into almost every conversation.

Today we boarded the bus after breakfast and headed into London for the day. The riots had started the night before, but there was no threat or issues with coming into London for the day. We explained to the boys the situation and asked them to please stay in the group, get on the bus when we say, yada yada yada.

One kid looked at us and asked if we could go to the riot. I looked at him - called him an idiot and explained it wasn't a Franklin Street after a UNC national championship riot -- it was a - fights had broken out in the hospital between rival gangs after being admitted with knife wounds type riot. You will be murdered if you run into one.

They then understood - but still wanted to see one. We thought if we ended up being near some chaos, we would send in Paul the Wall, our toughest player, and see how he came out. He was okay with that plan.(okay so his nickname gives away his name, but whatever)

We met our Blue Badge tour guide Will Watson at the Tower of London. Inside the Tower we saw the Crown Jewels (again and I inquired why my crown I picked out in June hadn't made it to Charlotte yet... they insisted it was close to be being finished and on the way)

me with the boys in front of the Tower of London

James Cow Mann -- Master of the Armouries -- yeeeeaaahhhh.

This time we went into the White Tower, which was the center most tower and one that Dad and I didn't do in June) and we saw different stages of the weapons and the armour -- and even the original chopping block and axe. Will told us about William Wallace being executed here at the Tower and

and then one of the boys goes "Who is William Wallace?"

We decided a Braveheart viewing was needed later in the week.

From there we hopped on a boat on the Thames and cruised down the river while taking in the sights from the water. We passed the school Daniel Radcliffe (aka Harry Potter) attended and one of my kids corrected our tour guide by saying "Uhh, actually, he went to Hogwarts ... get it right"

The boat dropped us off by Parliament, Big Ben and Westminster Abbey. Dodging traffic (making sure the boys always looked right!), we made our way through St. James' Royal Park to Buckingham Palace. The boys had to fight me from going in to see Kate's wedding dress which was on display inside the palace!  The team then topped off the tour at Lileywhite Sporting Goods store where they were in soccer heaven.

On the boat!

The Royal Horsegaurds Hotel from the Thames

St Pauls Cathedral from the River

In front of Westminster Abbey -- Gunner said I would look like a loser

if I took a picture by myself - so he hopped in.

with our Tour Guide - Will Watson

I kept thinking about Sherlock Holmes -- WATSON!

Trying to keep track of 15 kids in a 4 level football store

is exhausting and borderline impossible.

We then traveled to Ascot -- a town known for its horse racing -- for our second fixture against Ascot United. A bit nervous as the other team arrived in suits - the boys walked out from the locker room in true premiership fashion, exhanged banners, posed for some photos and then went on to take down the Saints 2-1.

Afterwards we ate with the team in their clubhouse (club teams are fancy over in England) and then headed back to Leighton Park to call it a night.

Each day on the busride to/from our activities - Coach and I would sit in the front of the bus and compose an email to all the parents back in the States. So with J as a former sports writer for his college paper ... and me as a creative writer -- we took it to a whole new level.

or should I say as Jonathan "Manager of the Year" W and Katherine "Quick-Draw Scissors" Mann ... we made the emails entertaining. Well, at least we thought they were entertaining. The kids thought we were old and corny ... and the parents probably thought we were just idiots. ahh, well.

As I mentioned - some of the boys already came in with nicknames: Wendell, BIFF, Diablo,... and as the week progressed we created Gunner, Crouchy, Ronaldo ... and as it progressed even more - we felt  we had to have a nickname for everyone... ... what if a parent (or a kid) got upset that their kid was the only one with a boring, normal name?!?! So as needed, we brainstormed and chose names very carefully

After tonight's game ... "The Flash" came up to us on the bus and asked us if we were going to stop for dinner

Flash: so...uh...what did we decide about dinner? are we going to stop?

Coach: yeah, I talked about stopping on the way or waiting until we got to Reading

Flash: okay, so what did we decide because we are starving

Coach: What should we name John...

Flash: What? Where did that come from?

Me: We've included nicknames for all you children in our letters home and we need a good one for John

(after all 3 of us debated some options ... and ended up with Rocky)

Flash: so... back to dinner

Me: Flash, we're taking care of it

Flash: really? beeeeeecaussssse it seems youre only taking care of thinking of nicknames.

touche, well played. we actually forgot to follow up with the dinner suggestions due to our distraction with our quest for nicknames for all the players. So, well played Mr. Flash, well played.

Part II to come soon!