Instead what we got was a 2 minute dance montage of her hits and then Gaga handed her the award -- and then Britney had to introduce Beyonce's performance -- while still holding her moonman. How bunk is that?!
WHAT IS HAPPENING OVER AT THE VMAS THIS YEAR?!?!
Not to mention the whole "teaser trailer" for the Hunger Games wasn't until the very, very end and it
was just some clips of Katniss running through trees. What could've been the best VMA's yet seriously
disappointed everyone... thanks a lot MTV
As I sat on the couch ... confused ... I got a text message from my sister that just said "That was it? Bunk"
and yes, I was thinking the word and Ellen texted the same word. and that is why we are sisters.
I mean they asked me to be a part of the dance montage (obviously) but I had to politely decline them. I've been perfecting my Britney moves since Slater taught me "Baby One More Time" in the hallway of my house in 6th grade...
Anyway, Congrats Britney -- you finally got your comeback! (because NO, I don't count your "Gimme More" attempt of a comeback ... as an actual comeback. Your weave was still showing.)
Okay ... and on to the next subject of Britney:
On Thursday -- Miss Spears, herself, was in the Queen City for the final show of her North America tour...before heading across the pond to Europe.
Ellen, Elizabeth and Alison went to the Raleigh show on Wednesday and I had to sit and wait (im)patiently while they're facebook status' went up, mobile uploads went up - phone calls (thanks E!) were made so I could have a listen.
I couldn't wait for Thursday ... so I could update and mobile upload ... and call people and make them jealous. ... but then ... my phone died. whoopsie. Luckily - my camera was FULLY charged.
DJ Pauly D ... from the Jersey Shore ... was the opening act - I sat there and kept thinking -- how is the kid I watch every week on the show -- RIGHT there?! and then he asked
"Charlotte...will you fist pump with me?! ohhhhh yeah!!
Yeaaaaaaah Buddy"
CABS ARE HERE!
I WANT BRITNEY!
ahhhhh 28 seconds ..... cmonnnnnnn!!!
Then ... the crowd started going crazy..and everyone is standing in the section next to me. Cameras are flying out of pockets, purses --- people are spilling drinks ... I stand up to see what the commotion is about...Britney is walking through ... pretending to be looking for someone ... and has the whole crowd going crazy.
I didn't go crazy. You know why?
It wasn't her.How do I know it wasn't the real Britney Spears?
a) it simply just - wasn't. puh-lease. I know Brit Brit when I see her. That wasn't NO britney.
b) no security ... she wouldn't be walking around without massive bodyguards around her.
c) it was definitely DEFINITELY definitely a tranny. Homegirl was a dude.
THEN no less than 2 minutes later - the REAL Britney was on stage. BOOM!
please note with regards to the videos:
ONE: i didn't know the intro would be THAT long... my arm was getting tired
TWO: that's not me screaming so high pitched. its the 12 year old beside me. I try to make a solid effort not to sing or scream when I'm recording. No one needs to hear that!
The Queen of Pop has hit the stage -- playing 22 songs over the next two hours - starting with "Would You Hold it Against Me" and ending with "Til the World Ends" -- in between she did some Madonna covers, a Rhianna cover -- and I almost peed my pants when she even busted out "Don't Let Me Be the Last to Know" and "Baby One More Time" ...seriously?! from the FIRST cd?! I see ya throwback!
Halfway through - she took a break - and I used this opportunity to use the bathroom. Which by the way, they changed most of the men's rooms to women's room to accommodate to masses of females.
I walked in and stood in line. These two girls in front of me turned around and ask
Girls: how old do you think we are?
Me: 12. you look 12. why are you talking to me?
OK, I didn't say that - but they did look 12..and I was praying that they were at least 18 since they were dressed like hookers...and I didn't know why they were talking to me...all sorts of confusion..so instead I went with a safe answer:
Me: uhh, I dunno ... 18?
Girls: (giggling) ok good! because were only 17 and were going clubbing aftewards. Do you know anything about the RePublic?
NOW the only reason I know anything about RePublic is because Pauly D was doing an aftershow party there so it was all over the radio stations and flyers were being handed out like crazy.
Me: I don't know where it is, but I know its the place with Pauly after. wait ... don't you have school tomorrow?
Girls: Yeah, we left cheer practice early tomorrow and we have a football game tomorrow, but were still going clubbing
Me: If you say 'clubbing' one more time I'm going to be forced to slap you ... to hopefully slap some sense into you.
ok, no, I didn't say that either - but I really wanted to. I also wanted to ask where their Mother's were.
Instead I just shook my head, apologized for not having more information and kindly asked them to please move along so I could use the bathroom as I originally intended before I got sucked into this terrible, stupid , and all around awkward conversation. I ain't got no time for yo jibba jabba...I need to get back to my seat!
and the grand finale:
Britney - lets face it. Your strong suit is your dancing. I mean, isn't that why you lip sync?! I could have learned those moves this morning and danced on stage with you tonight. Step up your choreography.
Also - saying hello to the crowd twice ... and (lip) singing the rest of the 2 hours doesn't quite engage us. No words about the city, nothing about it being the last show so lets end it right, nothing about the dance contest and the girl that got to join you on stage ... just a "Hey. Charlotte!" and a "Are you ready to go, Charlotte?" and ending with a "Thanks Charlotte" .... I mean, I guess you're welcome?!? Pauly D did a better job interacting with us.
AND - I didn't get my "Oops I Did It Again" ... I was all prepared to bust out the dance in aisle and I never got the chance.
So Brit - lemme pick your play list for you and choreograph your next tour. no problem. I won't even make you talk to me more than 3 times per show. You're Welcome.
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