True Life: I can't do math.

An actual conversation that happened at dinner a few weeks ago.

I promise none of this is made up.

My roommate and I were waiting for the rest of our table to arrive and simply making small talk.

Being that we live together ... there wasn't that much new news to discuss ... and since I understand nothing of what happens in the banking world... I took this opportuniy to discuss MY workday.

...My workday being that I had just finished up subbing a few days of 7th grade science...

Me: You want to know what I did today? Want to learn some science? I'll teach ya something ... I taught about diffusion. Do you know what diffusion is? and permeable and semi-permeable membranes?  You know the difference? one lets substances through and one doesnt. Like this table?(i knock on it) it is impermeable. nothing goes through. We used sand, silt, clay and rocks to show them ...THEN we talked about active transport ... do you know what active transport means?!

Roomie: I know what active transport and diffusion is okay ... I just know I wont say in all the scientific terms you are looking for ...

Me: Wellll, I'll tell you what is is -- it is when you use energy that is not your own to bri...

(interrupting me) Roomie: by the way... what is 8 times 8?

Then I made this face ... my confused / skeptical / "what is happening" face .... with my hand pointing at you like -- why? why would you go there.

 Me: oooooooooooooooooooooooooo. well played ... about that ...

Roomie: youre kidding me right?

Me:  well hang on, HANG ON! --- I know 8 times 5 is 40. right? yea. 40 ... Sooo... i just have to keep adding 8 ... so 8 times 6 will be 48 (then i bust out my fingers and start counting to 8 on my hands)

Roomie: is this really happening right now?

Me: then I try to get crafty and when I am trying to add the last set of 8 I put down my hands and try to do it in my head.... ITS 62!!!! no! 63! no .. wait ... 62!!!

Roomie: Its 64. wow. and I cant wait to tell this to the rest of the table when they get here ... Im just glad that you are educating the childen of the future. please tell me they dont ask you to sub for math.


 Perhaps Slater, Jarrett and I should have paid more attention instead of drawing cows and 3D boxes? Although I think our rotation schedule of who had to do the homework first was quite genius ... if Laura didnt mess us up .... ugh - smart underclassmen .... ha!